A growing girl has a lot going on! Not only is she growing physically and looking older by the minute, but she is also growing socially, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. With growing comes inevitable “growing pains” and I think about their pains a lot which seem to be so much more beyond her simply growing up. I am sure that you think a lot about this too!

Here are the top concerns I hear about and experience in my work with girls each and every day:

• Mental health issues: anxiety, depression, eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, and orthorexia)
• Social media addiction
• The effects of bullying
• Self-harm (or the mention of it)
• A deficit of self-confidence and bravery
• Stress, worry and fear (about everything!)
• Perfectionism (and the obsession with “getting it right the first time, or not trying at all”)
• Identity crises and chameleon-like behaviour to fit in with other girls
• Feeling dismissed, discounted, and misunderstood

The thing is – we cannot wish their concerns away. In fact, wishing that girls would gain in confidence and inner strength is dangerous because it keeps us in denial and unable to move forward. Instead, we need to see the truth and we need to take action, addressing concerns as they arise and, better yet, taking preventative measures to minimize and prepare for growing concerns.

How can we do this:

Noticing – What do see in her? How is she changing and growing? What are her moods? How is her energy level? How is she spending her time? What is she talking about? What do you think she’s not talking about?

Talking to her – about her world – How is she feeling? What is on her mind? What qualities does she feel describe her or what qualities does she want to describe herself? What is she interested in? What is stressing her out? What are some of her ideas, opinions, dreams, and goals?

Being with her – time is of the essence. Your time – more than anything else you can offer her – is valuable beyond measure. Find activities to do together, plan to spend time doing something or opt for doing nothing at all. Be-ing can be so much more powerful than Do-ing. She may need your listening ear, your advice, your stories, your insights, and your wisdom to figure out this “growing up thing” but she may simply need you to be there for her and with her.

Girls’ concerns are great and plenty and they need us to help them navigate the course – together, one growing concern at a time!